No Sex Please, We're (Still) British

A poll, originally published in The Times (UK), perfectly captures a national trait for understatement, which, perhaps even more than the Union Jack, is a particle of ‘Britishness’. While the British are increasingly becoming known for binge drinking and, thanks to Little Britain, a lady (lay-dee) is more commonly thought to be a moustachioed transvestite, the old reserve is still in evidence.

According to the poll, the most shocking public behaviours in Britain are nudity (37%), wearing a hoodie (12%), displays of affection (11%), breast feeding (10%), having a bad ringtone (8%), arguing (8%), drinking alcohol (7%), dropping litter (3%) and smoking (2%) (Brainmail). Not being one for public displays of affection myself, I find this amusing.

While it probably wouldn’t be a good thing for us all to adopt the values of Viz’s Victorian Dad, or to clamp down on those pesky nursing mums, it’s interesting to note a resurgence in grace and deportment. This backlash against binge drinking culture is as much media driven as consumer led, but it's beginning to gain traction.

www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/littlebritain

In 2006, a ‘social experiment’ transformed Britain’s worst booze hounds into paragons of sophistication. The girls were spirited away to Eggleston Hall Finishing School for Young Ladies for the reality TV show Ladette to Lady.

For some participants, the experience was life changing. For young viewers, it highlighted the benefits of deportment where it really counts – their looks. Several of the female beer monsters reported losing considerable amounts of weight. Unsurprisingly, cutting back from the customary 20-pub-a-night pub crawl resulted in significant calorie reduction!

www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/abfab

Joanna Lumley, interviewed on Parkinson in October, has called on young ones in the UK to behave better, so as to be more successful in life. In a rather ironic way, she’s the ideal spokesperson, best known for her outrageous antics as Patsy Stone in Absolutely Fabulous and poster child to several generations of female party animals.

The actress, who, in real life, is incredibly poised and articulate, has written a foreward to a reissued book called The Magic Key to Charm. It draws on old-fashioned values and furnishes binge-drinking lasses with the skills to become more ladylike.

And, given that throwing up in the gutter is not a good look, particularly when the photos are instantly plastered all over Bebo, or Facebook, this could be very good advice.